A reason for listening to countless film critics

THE HAPPENING

What actually happens in the Happening?
I’ll tell you what.
Nothing.
The whole thing is a waste of money, honestly. However jacked up the cinema prices are getting (I paid £8, that’s right- eight whole of my pounds) do not even bother wasting your money.
Do not believe the lies that are the very well made advertisements and trailers for this film. They say it’s a horror, the most scary ever made by its creator M. Night something or other; the bloke who did The Sixth Sense. The Happening did not top it- not by a very, very long shot. I spent half the time with my fingers over my glasses, believing that maybe, just maybe something terrifying would happen- but it never did. No wait- there was this old lady in it that gave me the ‘heebie jeebies’ but other than that, it was more messed up than anything else. I also found the whole aim of the film a little dodgy: respect trees/ the environment. That was the whole point.
What were we supposed to be scared of?
The wind.
Yes, you heard (well, read) correctly.
Wind.
And no, I don’t mean a massive fart either.
‘Run away from the wind!’ someone screams, and so they do… *gasp* and nothing happens. That was dumb. Near the end, when you think, okay, one of these ‘principle’ characters were going to die, they step out into the ‘wind’ and guess what… nothing happens! Conveniently, the spores in the wind stopped just as they left the house. Now that pissed me off- what rubbish.
And the conclusion to the entire film was spelled out to you, because for some it was too obvious, or to others the whole film made no sense at all. Looks like there needs to be a seventh sense just to get this nonsense.
I have to admit, there are moments (and I mean MOMENTS) of actual horror, but the majority were just disturbing. People hanging from trees: Disturbing, not scary… just disturbing. People killing themselves… it’s not scary, it’s sick (and I don’t mean sick as in ‘cool’). That writer has problems, and he’s there proclaiming the so called ‘greatness’ of his creation (which is a bit like a Film Frankenstein) on the misleading advertisements, as if he, himself has something to be proud of by making that film.

All M. Night something or other has accomplished has been:

1. Wasting my money.
2. Wasting my time.
3. Wasting his, and the film company’s money.
4. Lying to the world.
5. Making himself look like an idiot.
6. And proving that he has problems and that he needs a phyciatrist.